Chris Prudent

One thing I believe we could all do a better job of today is listening and making an effort to understand each other. Listening to someone else share their story is the easiest and, oftentimes, the most effective way to show someone love. Doing so would not only allow us to understand each other better, but it would empower us to de-escalate the tension that plagues our communities today. When people ask me for my thoughts about racism, and the way we respond to it nowadays, this concept is the first thing that comes to mind. When the idea of there being a racism problem in America is brought up, many people respond as if they’ve been personally attacked. These people often go to great lengths in efforts to prove that America doesn’t actually have any problems related to race. Many people will even use statistics to try to prove that people of color don’t actually experience unfairness in their lives. People like this, often without realizing it, make racism a political issue when in reality, it is a human issue. In summation, this is the argument I consistently hear in regards to racism in America today:

‘Our nation doesn’t actually have a racism or discrimination problem and black people don’t actually struggle with these things on the regular. Instances of racism are isolated events. The only reason people think there is a race problem is because the media (or liberals) tell them there is a problem in order to push their own Agenda and control them.’

Allow me explain why this school of thought is problematic and false. I am not mad at the people who say these things because I realize the fact that those people simply don’t know. They. Don’t. Know. They don’t know the things people of color face every day. They don’t know the precautions I take even when doing something as simple as choosing what clothes to wear each day, or what shoes to buy, or how to carry merchandise I’ve just paid for because I’m constantly aware of the way my skin color impacts even the most trivial activities. They don’t know what it’s like to be treated differently at a job interview than everyone else. They often point to statistics in order to prove that there isn’t a racism problem in America today, but that doesn’t work because there aren’t statistics for the majority of ways people experience racism. I can attest to that from my own life. Nobody was keeping track of the many times waiters have said rough things to me (often without noticing) when I have dinner at a restaurant with someone who doesn’t look like me. Nobody was keeping track of how many times I came home freshman year and found terrible things written on my dorm room door. Nobody was keeping track of how many times people called me the word (yes, that word) during soccer games because they wanted me to lose my temper, lash out and get myself kicked out of the match. Nobody is keeping track of how many times people have expressed how “I’m not like the others” or that “I’m not really black” because I can play an instrument, or because I speak the same way they do, or because of the school I go to, or because I don’t use curse words when I talk. Nobody is keeping track of the majority of ways people experience racism. So how can you point to your statistics and fact in order to tell me that racism doesn’t exist? When something is a pervasive and reoccurring issue in your life that requires your constant attention every day, and then people, many of which are friends and people you care about, tell you that problem of yours doesn’t actually exist and the only reason you think it does is because other people are telling you how to think, it hurts in a way I can’t really describe. We aren’t asking for people to make some large sacrifice or give free handouts because of our struggle: people simply want others to acknowledge the fact that there are unique problems some of us face. That way we could move forward and try to be better. Somehow, that seems to be too much to ask. What would it cost someone to simply admit to someone else that their problems exist?  At what point did we start demanding documented proof before we listened to people’s stories and tried to understand them? That’s not how friendship works. That’s not how love works.

I’m not suggesting that we should view black people, like myself, as victims. I know that if I work hard I can still achieve things in this life, and that having a victim mentality does more harm than it does good. All I’m saying is that we should stop telling people that what they have experienced isn’t real. When you do that, it hurts people, it shows people you don’t care about them, and it causes more division and tension. So when we hear someone talk about what they have experienced, why not sit back for a moment and listen to them speak before we pass judgement and assume we know their story better than they do? When we hear someone say something we don’t agree with, why not allow them to tell their story so we can get a grasp on why they think the way they do? Loving our neighbors is the model Christ laid out for us and doing so is the first step in creating unity, decreasing tensions, treating people better, and making this nation a better place. Caring about people enough to hear their stories and try to understand them would greatly help us with race issues, and with so many issues. I’m ready to start. Are you with me?