Alexis was one of my first friends in my sorority, and for a long time, I found a home in her. I don’t think she knows how much her friendship meant to me those first few months, but I can say with confidence I would not be in Pi Phi if it wasn’t for her. Watching Alexis grow and change this past year as she’s pursued and encountered the Lord has been one of the biggest blessings. He is active in her life and it shows. She fights to love people the way Jesus would have, she works harder than anyone I’ve ever met, and she brings the very needed crackhead energy to the party. She is also wise and needs to give herself more credit for the impact her presence has on people, because I certainly would not be the same if I hadn’t met her, and there are so many others who would agree.
Recently I have just been drawn to the idea of living life with intimacy and being present to the mundane around me, which is something pre-quarantine me took for granted and was not super great at doing. I have grown to love the way it feels to take a deep breath on the porch in the morning with my coffee cup in hand and the way I can sit in stillness with my new birdie friends in the backyard. Although I miss the routine of my 8am’s and late nights in the studio, I have started to appreciate the gift of rest this break has given me. I think it has been easy for me to feel like I have to constantly keep moving, going, doing… not slowing down to appreciate the details around me. I have discovered that part of this constant busyness comes from a feeling that I’m never doing enough to ‘earn’ a break. The constant comparison that our everyday routine breeds can be quite toxic if you let it, and subconsciously, I had let it. I saw the great things all of the amazing people around me were doing and felt I had to juggle more to keep up. I wasn’t allowing myself to slow down and rest but this break has given me no other option. I have been gifted with this amazing opportunity to rest, refill, and rejoice because of the life and health I have been so graciously given. I think a lot of that got lost with me struggling to keep up with the fast-paced living that college years can bring. This time has given me the ability to get intimate with my emotions and take the time to process what is happening around me, something my fast paced in the moment self doesn’t often get to do. I think there’s a lot to be thankful for in this time as well as a lot to be sad about losing, and I have had the time to explore the different emotions these bring about. I’m not thriving and I’m not dying… I’m just swinging back and forth between the two on this rollercoaster of emotions quarantine has brought me to and allowed me to experience more completely and intimately. I think I often subdue my emotion to make it easier to box up and process in my fast-paced life but these past few weeks have shown me the beauty of the depth of emotions we get to experience, good and bad, and how taking the time to process them creates this internal metamorphosis of a stronger, more empathetic, more loving person. To me, to live intimately is to love freely and fully, forgive fast, be present, laugh loud, and to not look back for too long because you’ll miss the memories at your side, and this crazy few weeks has given me the time and space to do just that
Stuff With K-Huff 